Hello Everyone ❤️

This post has been a work in progress in the last 10 days. I even had to get a bit of help from Dave. And my feelings on what I want to say have changed as much as the Ohio weather does!

Apparently, writing hard things doesn’t magically get easier with practice.

Many of you have been walking this road with me for over a year and a half  now, and one thing I’ve always tried to do is tell the truth. Not because I have all the answers, but because real life isn’t always tidy, and I know many of us are carrying hard things in one way or another.

Monday ,June 8th I got my 28th Chemo treatment so I felt this was as good of time as any to complete this post. That’s 28 and counting since i will continue to get treatment every 2 weeks for the foreseeable future.

My latest scan brought mixed news.

The good news is that my abdomen remains clear following my liver surgery, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. That piece of news felt like something worth being grateful for.

The harder news is that some of the nodules in my lungs appear to have grown slightly. Because of that, my treatment plan is changing once again. Cancer really does seem committed to keeping me flexible… not exactly the life coaching I was hoping for.

The current plan is to go back on my previous treatment drugs, and I’ll have another scan on July 29th to see how things are responding. So, for now, we pivot. Again.

As part of trying to understand what comes next, I’ve spent time learning more about the genetic mutation driving my cancer: KRAS G13D. And if I’m being honest, the deeper I dug, the more sobering some of the information became. I also am unfortunately running out of options and will be meeting with the group next week that will see what kind of clinical trials are available. The KRAS is becoming very prevalent in the cancer world and more people than ever are faced with this. The cells are smart and adaptive, what may have started off working is not going to stay working.  I am still very diligent with all of my alternative therapies and do believe that I am still here today because of them living, a productive life. 

There have been moments of fear. Moments of sadness.

Moments where my mind drifts toward future birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, holidays, and ordinary Tuesdays I desperately hope I still get to have.

I think about all the people I love and all the memories I still want to make.

And if I’m being really honest? Cancer has a way of making you think about time differently. But then again… none of us actually know how many tomorrows we get. Cancer just hands you a front-row seat to thinking about it.

So where does that leave me?

Oddly enough, in the same place I’ve tried to stay throughout this journey: today.

Today I am loved.

Today I am here.

Today I have another chance to laugh with my family, hold my husband’s hand, hug my kids, pray, walk outside, and notice the beauty in ordinary moments that never felt extraordinary until they suddenly did.

I still believe healing comes in many forms. I still believe there is room for hope. I still believe God is present and even on the days when I don’t fully understand the plan. And I still believe there is beauty to be found, even here.

This isn’t me giving up. This is me telling the truth.

Some days I feel strong. Some days I cry. Some days I bargain with God, eat snacks I probably shouldn’t (and many are not what most consider a snack), and wonder why medical words are so complicated and hard to remember.

But tomorrow comes, and I keep showing up.

Thank you for continuing to pray, check in, encourage me, and carry me through the days that feel especially heavy. Your love has mattered more than I could ever put into words.

As always, I’m grateful you’re here walking this with me.

With Peace, Love, Hope, and Gratitude,

Michelle ❤️