July has been a month of unexpected turns.

We started the month with something we had been looking forward to, a quick but very intentional family vacation with just the six of us. We spent time at the beach, relaxed, laughed, and simply enjoyed being together without cancer being the focus of every conversation or every moment. As many of you know, getting our three adult children and daughter-in-law together at the same time isn’t an easy task, so we were incredibly grateful for every minute we had.

Since we could all use a little good news, I thought I’d share a quick update on the kids.

MacKenzie continues to stay busy running her own business, traveling for work, and checking new places off her list. It has been fun watching her build the life she’s worked so hard for.

Dawson is preparing to begin his second year of medical school. The workload and demands are intense, leaving very little free time. Medical school certainly isn’t for the weak, but he continues to work incredibly hard toward his dream of becoming a physician. Juliana has been by his side with unwavering support throughout medical school while also working very hard in her own career as an occupational therapist.

Dylan will be celebrating his 21st birthday in just a few days and will begin his junior year at Kent State at the end of August. He’s worked hard all summer and is looking forward to the new school year.

Watching each of our three adult children pursue their own paths has been one of our greatest joys, and spending that time together filled my heart more than I can express. We have encouraged them to continue living their lives in the midst of the chaos that cancer has created in ours.

Unfortunately, once we returned home, things did not go as we had hoped.

I was scheduled to receive my regular chemotherapy treatment, but I had an allergic reaction to one of the medications. That reaction meant we had to change our treatment plan. Around the same time, my CEA level increased, prompting my scan to be moved up to July 22.

The scan showed that the tumors in my lungs have grown since my last scan in May.

That news has led us into another season of transition.

At this point, the only remaining standard chemotherapy option is a very harsh and toxic drug. After many conversations and a great deal of prayer and thought, I have decided not to pursue it. For me, the possibility of feeling well enough to truly live each day outweighs spending that time sick from treatment. Everyone’s journey is different, and this is simply the decision that feels right for me. If you are reading this and fighting an illness, always know you have options, and it’s okay to question medicine and do what’s right for you.

Instead, I am exploring clinical trial opportunities. I am currently on waiting lists through the Cleveland Clinic and University Hospitals. Unfortunately, there are many people in situations similar to mine, so for now, we wait. If a spot opens, I’ll prayerfully consider whether it is the right path for me.

In the meantime, our focus has shifted.

We are choosing to enjoy each day we’ve been given. We’re continuing with the healthy habits and alternative therapies that have become part of our routine, and we’re trying to make the most of every ordinary moment. As Tim McGraw sang, we’re choosing to “live like we were dying.” The truth is, none of us knows how many days we have. Cancer has simply made that reality impossible for me to ignore. We have had many hard conversations and made plans for things we never would have imagined at this point in our lives. Unfair? Yes. But it is a reality we have had to face.

I continue to have hope. I believe miracles still happen, and I will continue to fight in every way I can. If you see me on the street, I do not look that sick. I have had people honestly tell me they thought I would look worse. I think that’s a compliment, lol. If you ask me how I am, don’t worry, I will not share all of my problems with you. I just appreciate you checking in.

At the same time, I’ve also learned to hold hope and reality in the same hand. Whether I have two months or two years, that timeline belongs to God, not to me. I have found peace in trusting Him with what I cannot control, even when it’s hard to understand.

To everyone who has prayed, sent a message, checked in, or simply thought of me, thank you. You are all appreciated and have played a part in this journey.

As I move into this next chapter, I’ll probably be much quieter here. Dave may do an update, but for me, I think I have said what I need to.

I’ve realized that protecting my mental and physical well-being is one of the greatest gifts I can give myself. Cancer has taught me that it’s okay to say no, something that I have never been good at. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to spend your time only on what truly matters.

I am especially grateful for Dave and our children. Their love, support, patience, and strength have never wavered. I know not everyone walks this road with that kind of support, and I never take it for granted. I am deeply blessed.

If you’ve followed along on this journey, I hope you’ll take one thing with you. Your health matters. You matter. Listen to your body. Ask questions. Be your own advocate. No one will fight harder for your health than you. There is so much to be learned about the human body, and the toxic world we live in is having an impact on us all.

For now, we’re simply going to keep living, keep loving, keep hoping, and keep finding JOY wherever we can.

Peace, love, and gratitude,

Michelle